< more than looks, be continually useful >

Since my stock-in-trade is writing, you can imagine that I’m never in short supply of pen and paper. Per time, I have one on my bed, another on my desk, and more and more lying all around the place. And, of course, a pack of it in the wardrobe – with jotters and scraps of paper standing by. The way it works, you just never know when the big ideas come calling, and woe betide you if you’re caught unprepared (to pen them down). That sort of Rule No. 1 for slay queens: Never be caught unfresh.

But some of the pens in my collection are not normal. There is one from Cambridge University Press, a gift from the British Council. Funnily, you just get to feel like the Duke of Cambridge writing with it. There is another one from Sterling Bank, a 2018 souvenir that feels fantastic to write with. There are a few others like them, that leaves you wondering whether there is anything about them beyond the pen that they’re supposed to be.

And then it happened last night! One of those exotic ones ran out while I was in high spirits putting thoughts to paper. I mean, I was so inspired that all I could think of was how to get the job done. You just wouldn’t believe how I flung the pen into the waste bin, as I rushed for the one on the bed. It no longer mattered how beautiful it was; it just mattered that it wasn’t serving my writing need no more. And we were done!

It took me until now to realize what had transpired last night. On going to empty the waste bin, I chanced on the ‘pen’ again. But it isn’t pen anymore; it’s now waste. In spite of its beauty. And I’ve simply moved on to the next pen.

I do not mean you should use people and dump them when you’re done with them. That’d be evil. I’m saying that you should make yourself more useful than your looks. It is your responsibility to be useful for the long haul. Because… when the chips are down, looks will be very secondary. And that’s just the way it is.

Your No. fan,
Cornel

PS. Did you notice how I was able to make a big deal out of a pen that ran out? You should sign up for my training to learn some more: bit.ly/writingexpo2ad

You can be and do more…

Stop merely wishing you were a ‘better’ writer. Let’s do something about it! You and me. I’ve done 8 books in a span of 11 years, published over a dozen books for clients, and have coached tens of people in the art of ‘simple but sophisticated’ writing. So, I can guess my brain would be useful here.

The goal isn’t limited to writing books. That may not be your thing, I agree. But I can bet you need to compose better texts, emails, reports and engaging social media posts. Trust me, the power of writing to put you on the spotlight is second only to speaking.

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< a new way to see the masters >

If you’ve been following my social media “sharings” the 4yrs or so I’ve kept at it, then you already know many things about me, as the examples are usually drawn from my personal experiences. In this regard, my love for books and movies is no news. When I read books and see movies, I go the extra mile to juice out the usually life-transforming messages buried in the lines – and it makes little difference whether I read just a page or saw only a scene.

And so, I walked into the room yesterday to chance on HBO screening “The Matrix Revolutions,” a movie as old as forever. I was a kid the last time I saw it. I can’t really piece things together here, but it was the scene where Captain Mifune was badly hit and good to die, and there he was instructing an infantry on the only one thing left to do in order to win the war. You could visibly see that the infantry was lost, not getting why Mifune was asking him to go do something that was supposedly way out of his league.

As if to beat the Captain Mifune back to consciousness, to let him know he was speaking to the wrong person, the infantry said, “I didn’t finish the program.” Guess Mifune’s response? The title of this piece was his response, “Neither did I.” Yea, he himself hadn’t finished the particular training it should take to get certain things done and yet made captain. Of course, the infantry found strength and courage in those words and went on to get the job done. He didn’t have to have finished the training.

Now, like that infantry, you may be thinking you need a certain length of time, a particular amount of money, a calibre of connection, or a this or that certificate before you can engage your dreams. May I immediately bring to your notice that most of the titans of industries and celebrities didn’t have all of that before they set out. The truth is that things begin to add up along the way. Whether you think Zuckerberg, Oprah Winfrey, Ifeanyi Ubah or 2Baba, the story is no different. And for the record, I’ve never done any formal training on writing.

Back to the movie. While he was off to make it happen, the enemies shot him down and were about to shoot him dead. But then came rescue from nowhere, one that saw him to completing the mission. I mean, it is along the way that rescue shows up, that miracles happen. We need to get our ass off the waiting room and be on our way to our best lives.

Rule of thumb: “Start before you’re ready.” Don’t wait until you have enough time, money, connections or credentials.

Your No.1 fan,
Cornel

PS. This is not me undermining time, money, connection and credentials. This is me saying they’re not enough to have immobilized you.

< why we should watch out for ourselves instead >

I’m old enough to accept that I mustn’t have or air my opinion about everything, which is why I haven’t uttered a word on #BiodunDakolo, safe when after Mass last Sunday a friend came at me with the topic. Wendy wanted to know what my thoughts on the matter were. I simply told her, and angrily so, that while I’m leaving it to the courts (if they choose to explore the option) to rule on whether Biodun is guilty or not, every generation gets the sort of men of God she “creates.” On a good day, I hope to demonstrate how our generation has succeeded in churning out packs of reckless and fraudulent men of God. And the earlier we started undoing what we’ve done, the better for all of us. I insist that men of God should first be seen, and related with, as men – or women – before God is brought into the picture. Story for another day.

While I’ve restrained myself from going about social media with the matter on ground, I’ve read next to everything on it that came my way. As it was being discussed on different chat groups I belong, I made out time to read everything: what people think, how they feel, and what they recommend. Quite naturally, Mrs. Dakolo is voted victim and deserving of all the sympathies. Of course, the other camp isn’t missing out on points; they think Mrs. Dakolo is up to something. Good for them.

“Cornel, where the heck do you belong?” you may be wondering. Sorry to disappoint, I belong elsewhere. Rape being a serious crime, I think Dakolo and Biodun should go argue the case in court while we await the verdict of the judge; I hear they’re 30 other witnesses to testify. I think we should spend more of this time looking into our very own lives; this episode should call for sober reflection. 16 years down the line, a serious academic should become a professor; get busy considering the possibility of being stripped of your title by the number of plagiarisms you’ve already done. As a young man “dicking around” and not knowing how many seeds have already germinated here and there, bother yourself about the possibility of fruits showing up at your doorsteps after you’ve arrived. And whatever you succeed in becoming tomorrow, bother yourself today with the malpractices and all what nots you’ve already done that’d eventually become the things around your neck. Kindly get busy fixing these things; make peace with the nights of your past before your future dawns.

Lastly, when shit gets smeared all over your face, like on that of Biodun right now, then you’d know that most people in your live today are there for their convenience. They’d just leave you. They’d just join the bandwagon in crucifying you. Trust me, even when you’re guilty as charged, and clearly so, you need friends who still believe in you in spite of your mess and can make bold bets on your future. Let’s get busy shopping for such friends now – by being one ourselves.

Your No.1 fan,
Cornel

PS. It’s OK to talk. It is more OK to reflect.

< to know when to fight. and when to walk >

This is nothing about me making my personal experience an ideal. This is more of a testimony to the teaching ministry of the Holy Spirit. And today is Pentecost!!! In a very shocking way, He taught me something that brought me peace like a river in an instant – and may help you going forward.

I’ll cut the long story short. This “super-silly” customer care rep (and this is me trying to be nice) started talking at me rudely – to my face! The temptation was to cure her madness by saying something that’d momentarily shutdown her brain, something like, “Hey, young lady, why are you being an idiot here? You see how albino you look, right? You can imagine that the complexion of your face will be exactly that of red oil if I give you the resounding slap you rightly deserve for speaking to a customer in such an uncouth manner.” Read that again in Queen’s English. lol!

On the contrary, I found myself suddenly, surprisingly, and immediately turning my back at her and walking away. And I’d zoomed off with such speed that the said human being started begging me to come back, I guess, fearing what I may come back with. Not saying a word, not looking back, not to mention going back to escalate my case up the chain of command…

While I walked, feeling very weak for not having manned up, for not having proven a point to her, that people shouldn’t be spoken to in such an uncouth manner, for letting go of my hard-earned money, a word of knowledge ministered to me, “Don’t be so blinded by your ego that you couldn’t see the end from the beginning.” While still trying to recover from the shock of those words, it continued, “Yes, you’d have won; yes, you’d have gotten your money back, but will the cost of being right you’d have had to pay be worth it?” And while I was trying to figure out the meaning of those words, it concluded, “I who gives you power to get wealth will make up for that.” Funnily, he already did, as I’d gotten multiples of the disputed amount minutes earlier.

Upon further reflection, I realized the following:

1. She knew she’s at fault and was only trying to transfer her liability to me. Why? Because her company will fix her mess from her very next salary. She was kinda fighting for her life. lol!

2. To win the case, I’d need to first get very angry at her for trying to rub off her mess on me. Then spend all the time I’d be needing to establish my case, and still wait for the “management to sit” before a decision is reached.

3. Would I have tried to correct her, to make her a better person for next time? But I’m not her Lord and saviour na. lol!

Don’t get me wrong, there are times when sticking to your guns and fighting to the death is a sacred duty. We need wisdom to know those times. But there are times when walking away is also a sacred duty, when the first isn’t worth it one bit, when you’ve to labour to prove a point that ain’t worth it.

It’s important to always calculate your fight’s worth, so you don’t end up losing even when you win. Like Kenny Rogers’s gambler, know when to walk away, know when to run.

Your No.1 fan,
Cornel