How to live your life — Chief Tecumseh

I came across this in a movie I’d seen a long time ago, Act of Valor. Before he traded his life for the survival of his men, the commander insisted that this piece be etched on the mind of his ‘baby-son’ when he grows up, a piece he himself recited many times every day:

So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.

Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none.

When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision.

When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.

Our Deepest Fear — Marianne Williamson

Wherever you find this quote, especially on the internet, the first thing you get to be told is that people credit it to the South African demigod, Nelson Mandela. It was, however, the brainchild of Marianne Williamson. Our deepest fear is usually ourselves, but she tells us that were meant to shine out, as bright as a diamond. Check it out!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

It’s been wow over here at the University of Nigeria; the length and breadth of the University community is agog with the pomp that goes with every years week-long convocation. As it were, aside the fun derivable from convocation activities such as night of music, night of awards, convocation lecture, drama night, and VC’s cocktail, graduands and their family and friends are usually in high spirits. Of course, the rationale for this high spirits leans against the backdrop that a ‘successful graduation’ is a great achievement in this part of the world where ‘schooling’ is more important than ‘education’.

This piece is informed by my active participation in the ongoing UNN’s 45th convocation ceremony; I’d graduated on its 43rd in 2014. From Wednesday until now, I’ve been seeing many graduands, reported to be numbering 13,554, move around campus with heads held high to showcase the no-small-measure of achievement graduating is, and more so from UNN. What usually strikes me at the sight of this boisterous showcase is: what if they knew?

Truth be told, in more ways than I can say, I love UNN – beyond words. This love is not so much about the Pride of the Den, which every alumnus of my alma mater proudly identifies with, as it is about my personal and peculiar experiences there: the people I met, the things I did, and, especially, the realizations that dawned on me. I’d met too many people of both fraternal and strategic relevance, and I’d done quite a number of things that orchestrated my self-discovery and got me prepared for ‘the future that lies before me’. As per the realizations, I like every Nigerian graduate to pay attention to the following facts:

1. You may now begin… Graduation is important, but not so special. The first mistake is to think that there’s anything so special about graduating from an institution of higher learning. To say the least, graduation is akin to acquiring a travel visa. Having done so, now begin the journey. Let the euphoria of convocation not even cross your mind the morning after. Simply just begin the rest of your life!

2. You’re already disadvantaged… By schooling in, and graduating from, a third world higher institution, one is already assumed to be lacking in thorough and meaningful schooling. The reasons for this assumption are legion: senseless strike actions by the various and varied unions, poor commitment on the part of the administration and lecturers, poor infrastructure, inadequate research and other facilities, etc. And so, one cannot really be said to be capable of global competitiveness. Of course, only with the exception of students who were passionately and personally committed to excellence; those who went the ‘extra mile’. Little wonder they say we’ve more of half-baked and unemployable graduates.

3. Schooling is not education… Formal schools were not there from Adam. Schools only came in as one of the ways to realize education; an arrangement for the impartment of education. It is not education itself. And there are a number of criteria to be met for a school to be true to that name. Anyway, just bear in mind that education is a lifelong journey, while school is a brief trip. And never confuse the fact of having been ‘schooled’ for being ‘educated’. Yes, school gives us only the necessary grounding with which to embark upon the lifelong voyage of education.

4. The system has always been a conspiracy of the rich… Rich Dad Poor Dad’s Robert Kiyosaki always contends that the entire educational system is a conspiracy of the rich. His main argument revolves around the fact that the one single thing that can make or mar any human being is never taught in school: financial literacy. Of course, common sense reveals that everything we do on the planet run the gamut from making, spending, saving, investing, to even wasting money. The omission of financial literacy from the curriculum is not accidental; the system goals to produce docile cows ready for milking. So, your financial literacy, the ability to read the numbers, is your responsibility.

5. Times have changed… Now, more than ever, a certificate from an institution of higher learning isn’t a conditio sine qua non for success. No. The No. 1 requirement for success now is alignment to change. Everything has changed and continues to change. The one who adapts to change, schooled or not, is the one!

6. Ideas reign supreme… It’s all about ideas. Start thinking.

7. The government can’t offer much… Even the government itself is in trouble, how much help do you expect from it? The economic realities of the moment are forcing the government to ignore some of her pristine duties. They make promises they can’t fulfill; they lie. And you will be doing yourself a favour by ignoring the government and taking your destiny in your own hands.

8. There is hope… In the very dear words of Martin Luther King Jr., “I say to you today my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment…” The situation is as pitiable as the challenges are dire. However, we, Nigerians, are experts at braving the odds and hewing a stone of hope from the mountain of despair. Get to work!

On April 11, 2015, the day of the election that saw 72-year-old Muhammad Buhari to Aso Rock, this country of mine, Nigeria, woefully failed me. For once, I took things very personally. In fact, it was so serious that it cost me my patriotism. That day, I was forced to arrive at the conclusion that I wasn’t worth much – or nothing – to Nigeria, and I lost every faith I used to have in her. From thenceforth, I was left with just one piece of faith: God’s. Thereafter, the most I could do for Nigeria was commend her to God who now had every bit of my faith.

What must have happened, you may already be wondering. Let me attempt a narrative. First of all, it was quite a day; a day I’d thought was possibly my last. As a national youth servant, I was conscripted into the INEC and assigned to play presiding officer to one of the many polling units of my local government of NYSC posting. In a bid to contributing my quota to the success of the polls, I gave my best to the 3-day training and refresher course (after the postponement of the election). In this same spirit, I promptly reported to the RAC in the evening of election eve as they’d instructed, and by past midnight was called up to claim the election materials for my polling unit; I did, too. In fact, I didn’t just comply with all their demands, but did so with all enthusiasm and alacrity.

However, dawn dawned on me with the first shocker: the policeman attached to my unit was both old and uncultured, and the civil defense officer assigned to support him didn’t show up. And then I complained, but was convinced to move on while he joined us. Although this scratched my enthusiasm some bit, I was still enthusiastic enough to move on. I believed them; my first mistake. The long and short of it all was that when it was really big trouble time (arising from: the drunkenness and carefree lips of my only ‘gun-less’ policeman, ‘PDP-APC’ loyalists’ clash, youth restiveness and the general atmosphere of unruly behavior), I called all those worth calling and no help came. They were reachable, but they kept promising and lying; the D.P.O., S.P.O., head of civil defense were all making the same promises and telling similar lies. It was really that really bad. And so, I was left with one last option: run for your dear life. But where could I even run to; it was their domain, and I knew next to nowhere. THEN CAME JESUS to the rescue after I said a short prayer for help. Like under a spell, indicative of prayer promptly answered, the locals just came to like me and started complying with all my instructions.

Ever since then, I’ve been unconsciously careless about so many things going on in this country. I’ve even been very much critical about Buhari’s change mantra. For me, it’s his business, and I often accuse him of been hypocritical – to a fault. I’d lost faith in Nigeria and that’s it! However, Thursday, February 18, 2016, became my turning point. On this day, I listened to Dr. Emmanuel Ibe Kachikwu, Minister of State for Petroleum Resources, UNN’s 45th convocation lecturer, shed some light on his personality, convictions, and his outstanding innovations at NNPC. It made all the difference to me because here was my fellow countryman who didn’t think this country owes him anything but vehemently believes he owed himself the duty of being the best of whatever he does. Kachikwu said he is driven by legacy and not by amassment of wealth, which would obviously be nowhere when he’s dead. Dramatically, he swore that he can only do the right thing on his job.

To say the least, Kachikwu is something else. I just sat there and watched him shed his light of excellence on me. I just sat there and watched him give me a thousand and one reasons why I should not give only my best but my all to every worthy cause. While I watched him do and say all these to me, even patriotism began to germinate and grow within me. More so, having bagged his first degree from same university as me, UNN, tells me even more: excellence is not optional for me.

Finally, those that were at UNN’s Princess Alexandria Auditorium while Kachikwu spoke know what I’m talking about. Those that saw it live on national television know what I’m talking about.

Yes, we have been here for too long. It is time to move. Whether we fly, run, walk or crawl, what’s important is the fact that we are moving. That we move is not just right and just, it is our duty and our salvation. From where to where, you may ask? The answer is simple enough: from poverty to prosperity; from lack to plenty; from sickness to health. Indeed, from grass to grace. Now, I can already assure you that we have all it takes to embark upon this journey and to reach our destination.

I once read a good book. It is such a book that every human being should read. The book is both simple and short. Who moved my Cheese? That’s the name! By Dr. Spencer Johnson. It is the story of four creatures and how they reacted to change. Change is the word. Everything does not only changes; everything always changes. Things keep moving. And the man who refuses to change or move along with the trend of time is bound to perish. This is a fact.

The way businesses are run, for instance, have not only changed but keeps changing. The way marriage is contracted and family is run have not only changed but keeps changing. The economy of nations keeps going up and down; boom today, recession tomorrow. New approaches to conflict resolution have emerged; management experts keep uncovering new ways of handling and motivating people. In one word, the philosopher Heraclitus concluded from his observations that everything is in flux (continuous change).

Aligning oneself with change is the answer. Not holding unto things. Not been conservative to a fault. In fact, we must stop playing old-school. Why? Because what worked yesterday may not work ever again. Yesterday, for instance, the whole world believed that the sun revolved around the earth until Galileo came up to prove otherwise. What was the implication? The whole of astronomy was rebuilt.

Let’s be practical a bit. In the marriage of time past, the wife of the house was strictly a sex machine and a children-making factory. As long as she was available for sex and could make as many children as needed to till the farm, she was a great wife. But now, any family that tries that must crumble. Because now, more than ever, wives must also work to augment the man’s monthly takehome. And she must not convert all the eggs in her system to children because the cost of training one child from 0 to 21 years is now something else. And should the man die leaving little or nothing behind, the idle wife could turn to prostitution, with the hungry children becoming slaves  to uncles and aunts and ndi na cho boy. Seen thus, are many married people getting it right? I am not sure. I am just not sure.

As I was saying, things always change. And we must also always change by positively adapting ourselves to the trend of time, so as to end on the sunny side of life. If we fail to do this, then poverty is inevitable.

And I like to reintroduce us to Christ. He is the reason why we have not crashed, and the earlier we took Him personal the better for us. It is His will that we prosper and be in good health, even as our souls also prosper. And the only place to find God is the Bible. He tells Joshua that prosperity and good success depends on constant reading, meditation, and doing the Word (cf. Joshua 1:8). Please, we shouldn’t wait for God to shake us up before we seek Him. About our bad habits, the Word of God will help us know who exactly we are and help us make amends.

God’s will for us is prosperity. So, lets get up, leave this place and go get it. Yes, we can, by His amazing grace.

The medical personnel that attended to me is also a very good friend of mine, and since it’s been like forever I last saw him, our encounter was more of a reunion than for the medical concern that took me there. The long and short of this introduction is that the 10 minutes for which I waited for him (he was away attending to another concern before I showed up) proved to be invaluable. Unlike the burial episode, I’d my writing pad this time. In those 10 minutes, the following realizations dawned on me:

1. We must be continually thankful. UNTH is quite a massive complex, sitting atop hundreds of acres of Fr. Mbakas Ituku-Ozala. Quite massive I must repeat, housing, as it were, many departments/clinics, ranging from UNN’s Faculty of Medicine and Surgery and Dentistry, eye clinic, ENT (ear, nose, and throat), dental clinic, cardiotherapy, etc. Guess what? Everywhere was packed full with thousands of people, many of whom were sick, some of whom were caring for their sick loved ones, and, of course, the medical practitioners who are the ministers of hospitality. This was just UNTH. Add up other teaching hospitals, federal medical centers, general hospitals, private hospitals and clinics, plus all other functional medical outfits and facilities. With this, you can trust that so many people are sick and dying. If you’re not in that count, then give thanks  to God.

2. You’re possibly sick. Of the thousands of people on this medical facility I visited, UNTH, only a handful looked really sick. Others looked very much like me: hot and kinky. But, technically speaking, I was sick too. Moreover, their looks, our looks, didn’t change the fact that were sick. And then I ask you, do you rely on your looks, or even how you feel, to say whether you’re sick or well? If yes, then you’re possibly wrong. Very wrong. A woman, for instance, wouldn’t know she has gonorrhea, a venereal disease, unless a man she infected tells her. What if the man doesn’t tell her or was protected by his condom? The implication is that she will remain in that state of poor reproductive health, which will worsen and worsen by the day, until childlessness in marriage compels her to go find out why conception isn’t working out for her.

Yes, don’t rely on looks for the knowledge of your medical status; always stop at your doctors to get updates. Of course, it is way easier and cheaper and less stressful to deal with medical issues at their budding phase.

3. Take precaution. Prevention has remained the best cure. While I recommend regular checks at your doctors, taking precaution with a view to forestalling breakdown is important. Eat healthy. Exercise daily. Sleep soundly. Reduce stress considerably. Shun self-medication. Just stay healthy.