We’ve all heard the proverb: “When two elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers.”

It’s poetic, but painfully true. Whether in politics, workplaces, marriages, communities, or even church groups, the real casualties are usually the bystanders, the people with the least power, the workers, the ordinary citizens, and the well-meaning friends.

But what if the “grass” refused to be helpless?

What if, instead of being trampled, the grass learned to reposition, reinforce, or even remove itself before the stampede begins?

But the grass can’t move. Yes, literally, the grass is transfixed and can’t help but be trapped, the idea is to think differently beyond the immovable grass and learn how not to be collateral damage in other people’s battles:

1. Know When The Fight Is Not Yours

It’s not always your business. The first rule of surviving elephant battles is recognising that not every conflict requires your participation.

In many workplaces, team members get dragged into the ego wars of senior leaders. Suddenly, someone is forced to “choose sides.” That’s exactly how grass gets crushed.

What To Do:

Become professionally neutral. 

It is easier said than done when you’re caught between your COO and CEO’s “display of authority” but if you fall into that trap of picking one side, you set yourself up for life.

Why?

The person you went against will have it out for you one way or the other. The person you went with may not even care about you that much and was only in need of a representative office pawn to prove a point. 

You’ll need to learn diplomatic tact. Support policies, not personalities. Let your reputation be built on competence, not alliances.

2. Stay On The Edges, Not The Centre

When big forces are clashing, impact is highest at the centre. In political seasons, for example, citizens get emotionally invested in rivalries that they cannot control. Meanwhile, the actual political actors shake hands after elections and move on, while ordinary people are the ones left with fractured friendships and bitterness.

What To Do:

Maintain emotional distance. The unraveling of hate during political turbulence is a case study of grasses getting between something that was not theirs to get into in the first place. Aspirants plant disturbances in the form of people and soon, friends of 20 years are mad at each other so much so they can’t repair the bond even after all is done.

No one is asking you not to care but you have to care without carrying fire for anyone. Air your views. Defend your opinions. Cast your vote and at the end of the day, no matter how the tides flow, you learn to live in peace.

3. Build An Identity Stronger Than Any System

Grass suffers because it is rooted in one spot. Elephants, on the other hand, roam. If your livelihood, status, or confidence depends on one boss, one political party, one organisation, or one relationship, you have placed yourself directly under the feet of elephants.

What To Do:

Diversify your identity: skills, networks, mentors, and opportunities. Be flexible enough to move. Many people lose promotions because their direct supervisor is clashing with upper management. They themselves are excellent, but their identity is tied to the wrong champion.

4. Learn Early Detection; Elephants Don’t Start Fighting Suddenly

Before elephants clash, the ground already begins to vibrate. In organisations you’ll notice it: at first it could be mild tension between the two heads. Not having the same coffee stand, refusing to attend each other’s stand up, rebuffing ideas flagrantly, closed-down meetings, etc. The actual tussle you witness is the culmination of the tension not the start of it.

What To Do:

Develop political emotional intelligence. Learn to observe power shifts, pay attention to mood, and prepare alternatives before conflict goes public.

This is what agile grass does: it bends before the storm, not during it.

5. Don’t Inherit Other People’s Enemies

One of the quickest ways to become trampled is to inherit the quarrels of people who will forget you tomorrow. Imagine this:

A colleague becomes hostile to you because their friend has an issue with you, an issue you aren’t even aware of. Or in families, siblings inherit grudges their parents had with relatives from 20 years ago.

Does it make sense? There are cases in our personal lives where the enmity is inherited because of the ghastly nature of what was done, but in the professional context, you need to watch how you bear the brunt of what is otherwise none of your business.

What To Do:

Respect everyone. Treat everyone with your own eyes, not someone else’s lens. You owe loyalty, but you don’t owe inherited hostility. If you decide to be hostile, let it be based on your convictions and findings not on hearsay, themsay, shesaid, theythought.

6. Choose Your Elephant Wisely

Sometimes you cannot avoid being connected to someone powerful. If you must align, choose wisely.

Young professionals often attach themselves to charismatic but controversial managers. When the manager eventually gets into trouble, their entire “camp” falls with them.

What To Do:

Align with people of integrity. They may not necessarily be the loudest or most influential, but the fairest.

7. Create Your Own Escape Routes

Grass suffers because it has no exit strategy. People, on the other hand, can create options.

If senior leaders are fighting and your department becomes ground zero, begin preparing: update your CV, strengthen your portfolio, expand your network. This isn’t you being disloyal, it’s having common sense. If the quarrel lightens up and some of you get to stay, that’s great. If you happen to be part of the some, even better. But in worst case scenarios, the last thing you need is to wake up one Monday morning and find yourself jobless because two people just couldn’t get along.

8. Never Let Fear Make You Still

Frozen grass gets crushed first.

Movement is your greatest protection. If politics at work gets hot, become more visible for your competence, not your opinion.

If chaos rises in society, stay informed and proactive.

What To Do:

Learn to adapt. To pivot. To flow with the tide. There are times when staying at a place is the best option and times when it’s not. 

9. Grow Thicker Not Harder

There’s a difference between the two. Growing harder makes you brittle. It means you stop trusting, become cynical, withdraw from people.

Growing thicker means you become emotionally resilient without losing your softness.

What To Do:

Stay compassionate, stay open, but protect your peace. Thick grass bends but doesn’t break.

Elephants Will Stop Fighting, But The Grass Must Live On

Elephants fight, and reconcile tomorrow. But the grass that got crushed doesn’t magically spring back. Your long-term well-being is more important than temporary peacekeeping. Don’t sacrifice your future on the altar of other people’s wars.

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Yes, elephants will always fight. Politicians, bosses, family members, influencers, even nations have a propensity together into it at times.

But the grass does not have to be passive. You can be a wise grass: aware, strategic, emotionally intelligent, and mobile.

Because the truth is this:

Survival is not just for the strong. It is for the aware.