We live in a world where the walls between the personal and the public have become astonishingly thin.
The social media age has created an environment where information, those true or false, noble or ignoble, travels at the speed of desire not fact.
People share, forward, forward multiple times, screenshot, and upload with little thought for consequence.
In a culture increasingly shaped by individualism and competition, information has become a currency. And like all currencies, it can be traded, weaponised, or squandered.
Yet beneath the glitter of curated feeds and polished appearances lies an uncomfortable truth about the human condition: we are all fragile, contradictory creatures. Every one of us carries private failures, hidden struggles, and stories we would rather not have shouted from rooftops.
We often use the “skeletons in the cupboard” adage, and in reality, that’s the human reality.
The difference between the exposed and the unexposed often boils down to who was in the room, who held the camera, who had access, and, crucially, who exercised restraint.
This is where the burden of discretion emerges.
What is discretion?
Discretion is not merely the act of keeping quiet. It is the discerning ability to know what to share or not share about what we know or in many cases, do not know.
- It is the grace of protecting others even when exposing them might benefit us.
- It is the recognition that privileged access to someone’s personal life is not a right but a trust.
- Whether in the workplace, in friendships, within families, or in positions of leadership, discretion is an essential ethic.
In the Career Space
Many professionals today handle sensitive information like financial details, confidential memos, internal conflicts, and even personal matters colleagues unknowingly let slip during stressful seasons.
Some people stumble upon a coworker’s mistake, overhear a conversation not meant for them, or witness a moment of vulnerability.
The easy path is to leverage such knowledge for advantage: to gossip upward, score points, or thwart their growth on the corporate ladder.
But the burden of discretion calls for something higher. It invites professionals to be guardians of dignity. To understand that a colleague’s unguarded moment is not a stepping stone.
It’s not your “one opportunity” to get back at them if they have been in your bad books. Sure, leveraging the information may favour you, but it speaks poorly to your quantity as a person and the weight of your trait.
In the Family and Community
Our most intimate relationships grant us VIP access to the unedited parts of people’s lives, their fears, flaws, tempers, anxieties, emotional wounds. Families, friendships, and close-knit communities thrive when discretion is exercised with maturity.
Speaking carelessly about a sibling’s past, sharing a partner’s weakness in public, or revealing a friend’s private struggle to score humour points may seem trivial, but it erodes emotional safety.
“It was only a joke” is not an excuse to ridicule another irrespective of the bond.
“But it was funny.” Funny to you, not them. It may be funny when they discuss it with you, because it’s you, but sharing that intimacy with people they don’t know or care about is gutter behaviour.
Healthy families and communities understand that love is partly expressed through silence, the type that protects, not the type that conceals wrongdoing.
The burden of discretion does not mean covering evil; rather, it guards the humanity of those who are imperfect but trying, flawed but growing.
In Positions of Trust
Clergy, counsellors, employers, mentors, and leaders of all sorts often stand at the crossroads of extraordinary personal confessions. People entrust them with their raw truths, which are sometimes messy, sometimes painful.
These truths can be mishandled, sensationalised, or retold as personal trophies. But to do so is to betray the very heart of leadership. True leadership understands the sacredness of private information.
Discretion is silence in the service of human dignity. It is the posture that says: I will not weaponise what was shared in vulnerability.
The Positive Call
In the end, the burden of discretion is not a weight but a gift, a gift we offer others, and a gift we hope others will offer us.
It is an act of compassion in a world hungry for scandal. It is a discipline of love in a culture saturated with exposure.
It is a strength that allows relationships, careers, and communities to flourish because people feel safe to be human.
We cannot stop the world from being noisy, competitive, or invasive. But we can choose who we become within it. And perhaps the most countercultural choice we can make today is this: to be trustworthy custodians of the things we see, hear, know, and hold.
Cornelius Ndubuisi 