“What would life have been to us had Christ not risen from the dead?” This question is particularly important to all those who hold the person of Jesus close to their heart. It is also important to those who, though do not care a thing about Jesus, are enjoying the so far society has come in terms of enlightenment and scientific advancement. Of course, when Jesus declared, “I am the light of the world,” he really meant business, and all those who keyed into his illumination got the promised “light of life.” Just one instance would do: America is today the world’s leading power for more than one reason. Have you cared to ask why every single dollar bill cannot go without the “In God We Trust” inscription? Simple: the founding fathers of America knew that God is both the author of freedom and sustainer of any sovereignty that goals to stand the test of time.

And so, needless to say that we’re all an “Alleluia people.” We owe God heartfelt praise, for drawing us out of the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of His very own beloved son, in whom we have redemption and the forgiveness of our trespasses. Yes, Christians and non-Christians alike.

corneliusndubuisi.com says: Happy Easter!!!

Importantly, may we not cruise through today’s celebration buried in eating and drinking and making merry, and passing by some of the beautiful lessons it brings along, especially those from the women of the resurrection morning. They teach us the following:

They loved on, even after death
During the passion experience, Scriptures say that those women were around; they watched from a distance. Then Jesus died. The apostles went about their usual businesses, but early before dawn these women were already on their way to see to it that Jesus got a befitting burial; what the horrific Good Friday couldn’t let them do. Don’t even think they were anticipating the resurrection; they weren’t. In this regard, Scriptures say that until the full reality of the resurrection dawned on them, none of Jesus’ followers had come to a grasp of the resurrection prophecy.

The point is: They loved truly. They really did. And we can learn from them. That sort of love that expects nothing in return. That kind of love that just loves on…

They moved in faith
Scriptures say that the big challenge that confronted them at the mental level was this, “Who would roll away the stone for us?” This challenge didn’t deter them. They moved. And when they did move, they ended up finding that the stone had already been rolled away. Plus the message of the risen Lord.

What do we learn from them in this regard? Mental obstacles are just not enough to hold us back from moving or setting out. Just move. In faith. And the Big-Guy-up-there just has this way of rolling away the stone before we get there. Or, He has this fascinating way of making the burden light.

“Hosanna! Hosanna!!” – “Crucify him! Crucify him!!” From the same mouths came forth those opposing chants, and the interval between their utterances wasn’t long enough to warrant forgetfulness. While he rode triumphantly into Jerusalem, the assembled crowd chorused, “Hosanna to the son of David,” and when before Pilate, about the same crowed chorused all the louder, “Crucify him! Crucify him!!” To be sure they acted in good fate, Pilate had to ask them, “Do you really want me to crucify him?” Needless to say that their response showed they meant business. The same crowd that sought to seize Jesus and crown him king by force was the same crowd that didn’t mind that his innocent blood be on their head and those of their children’s children. And if you’ve ever wondered why we’re advised not to follow the crowd or even to go against it, this incidence clarifies it all. To say the least, the crowd is grossly unreliable; the crowd is ‘two-faced’.

Shakespeare knew this so well that he reproduced a similar incidence in his Julius Caesar. When he won the Romans glory they cheered him on to more victory, such that they fully concurred with Mark Antony’s bid to crown him king. Thrice Antony presented him the crown, at each of which the crowd cheered with increasing intensity, and thrice Caesar turned down the offer. Of course, the wise and seemingly ambitious Caesar knew better than rest his fate in the hands of the crowd of ancient Rome. And true to her nature, they did turn against him on the Ides of March – the day the conspirators struck. The crowd was even funnier on this occasion. Brutus’s short speech instantly turned them against Caesar, and Antony’s speech that immediately followed instantly got them back to Caesar’s side, turning them against Brutus as it were. Such is the crowd.

Let me not proceed without giving another befitting example: the story of Bartimaeus. This son of Timaeus, a blind beggar, knew Jesus could let him see again, and would call out to him as soon as he learnt he was passing by. The long and short of it all is that the same crowd that tried to shut him up was the very crowd that said to him, “Courage, come, he is calling you.” And Bartimaeus already leaves us with a great lesson on how to engage the crowd. Scriptures say that as much as they tried to shut him up, he shouted all the louder. Yes, he was insistent that his voice not be drowned by that of the crowd. And as much as he persisted, he secured Jesus’ attention and the admiration of the crowd. May this lesson guide us still.

The crowd we can most likely identify with is public opinion; what they think and say about us. And sometimes we just take them way too seriously. In this regard, we feel we’re good when they think and say we are; we feel we’re bad when they think and say we are. So, somehow we just twist ourselves into the mould the crowd designed for us. Needless to say that many students are studying this or that course because they’ve been made to believe that this or that way lies success. Marriages have been contracted on the grounds of the conventional definition of who Mr. and Miss Right ‘ought’ to be. And there is just a way many a person has ordered his/her life to suit convention, win others’ admiration and to secure the spotlight. Nice.

However, it remains noteworthy that the crowd is unreliable. Never forget this.

This is one way to get around the crowd problem: individuate yourself. Though a member of a larger community, get used to the fact that the larger community can turn against you at an instant – like they were never for you in the first place. Jesus is a case study again. The 5,000 he fed would come again for food, and they all desert him when he offers them his body and blood. And Jesus offers us a great example of individuation, too. We find this in his disposition to risk losing every one of his followers. He turns to the 12 that stayed back, asking them, “Are you not leaving too? He was way too sure of himself and his message that he didn’t have a problem staying alone.

Let me not say it all. I leave you to reflect on the crowd problem and to find your way around it…

There was a time when virginity was the norm. In fact, losing one’s virginity at the time was a capital offence in some societies; punishable by death. Of course, there was a way to find out: the hymen. Though we’re now in the know that the hymen test isn’t very reliable, given that strenuous exercises and regular tampon usage could wear and tear it. Plus, pregnancy was one sure way of saying who’s had sex lately, given that contraception wasn’t very much around, with abortion being as feared as hell. Heard of ‘honour killing’? Even families were obliged to demand the life of a daughter who brings them ‘shame’ on the grounds of especially sexual misconduct. Annoyingly, even rape was a reason for honour killing. To say the least, virginity, at the time, was more of a duty than it was a thing of pride. And society even went as far as seeing to it by setting up institutions in this regard: female genital mutilation (FGM), chastity belt, virginity pledge, etc.

Little by little things started changing. And things really did change! With the invention, and further perfection of the various contraceptives, and some cures to prevalent STDs/STDs, sexual restraint began to wane, the line got blur and blurrier by the day until it disappeared. The intriguing part is that sexual indulgence became so prevalent that it became the norm, taking the stead of virginity as it were. As a result, professing virginity at a time like this is not just old-school but a thing of mockery. So, the 21^st century virgin is jeered at, and even somewhat stigmatized.

The rationale for jeering at the 21^st century virgin is not unfounded. Yes, it is for the same reason that sexual indulgence was frowned at when virginity was the norm; they basically switched sides. And so, the contemporary virgin may feel awkward, regrets her choice of virginity and is weighed down by the stress, and even depression, of how to survive at a time like this when the trend is sex.

The basic reason why the virgin is jeered at is anchored on the fact that he/she misses out on the purported many benefits of sex. The sexually active folks and their cronies say that sex is extremely valuable for the following reasons: good exercise; burns calories; relieves stress; improves health and general well-being; lowers blood pressure; reduces risk of genital cancers, especially the prostrate one; boosts self-esteem, etc. Of course, these benefits are true of sex, but… Can’t you already observe that those benefits of sex could be gotten elsewhere? Run a good race, for instance, and you wouldn’t need sex to complete the exercise part. And a healthy lifestyle counteracts most of those benefits.

Virginity does not say that one is never going to have sex; it says that one is waiting until when the time is ripe. And marriage is just that time. Of course, the sex people wouldn’t want to accept the fact that aside their “purported lack of experience” as a disadvantage of virginity, there are advantages to the virginity thing, too. If for no other reason, we especially know that there is no venereal disease that is airborne; they always happen with sex. Yes, back to the point: virginity is not no-sex forever (safe for religious people who take the vow of forever); it is wait until the time is ripe. And when the time is ripe, it is sex galore!

Mind you, I’m not talking about those who do virginity show; whose goal is to ensure the hymen is intact while exploring other sexual options, such as masturbation, oral sex, anal sex, etc. The very fact that we call them ‘technical virgins’ speaks volumes of them; it already says they’re not. Virginity is very much about the discipline, about the effort put into staying clean. That is where chastity comes in. And it is for the reason of chastity that ‘secondary virginity’ is possible. Secondary virginity designate those who’ve done sex before but are now resolved to keep clean henceforth. Yes, chastity is about the state of the mind. Call it sexual purity if you like, which cuts across thought, word and action.

Now, this is my point, so that I don’t get myself entangled in a much ado about virginity: we’re all born virgins, and aside for accidents such rape, we all get to choose to keep it or lose it. Whatever choice we’ve made, we should let others be with their own choice, too. I mean to say, especially, that we shouldn’t trouble virgins on account of their own choice.

Furthermore, a word for virgins out there: “Don’t peter out!” Sometime soon, we’ll talk about how you can get around this stigma.

Of course, I’ve written this irrespective of my own status. And the last time I checked, we’re all virgins until we’re caught. Lol!

Let me share with you a piece of information you probably have not come across. Between June 8 and July 6, a call was made over the internet; a call that was both weird and grossly unconventional. It was a call for participation in the Autoblow Vaginal Beauty Contest. Autoblow is a men’s sex toy manufacturer. As it were, the winner will claim $5000, the second and third runners-up will claim $2500 and $1250 respectively. The take-home for Autoblow was to find the world’s most aesthetically pleasing vulva with which to create a model for a future version of Autoblow 2. As the main criteria for entering, you were required to be 18+ of age and should take the picture of your vulva with your name written on a piece of paper by it (sort of tag). Truth be told, I found that competition amusing, but particularly very annoying.

Guess what? At the end of the day, 182 women entered for the competition and 134,707 site-visitors did the voting. Of course, the 182 participants submitted photos of their external genitalia for the online vulva beauty contest. And as planned, Autoblow arrived at The World Most Beautiful Vaginas on the planet! And these proud winners came forward to claim their prizes: 1. 27-year-old Nell from the UK; 2. 23-year-old Jenny from Bavaria, Germany; 20-year-old Anita from Hungary. Definitely, you should expect that this exercise got as many praises as it got lots of criticisms.

Although my Christian bent inspires me to strongly condemn that exercise, and others that are like it, the main focus of this piece is not to make moral arguments. This is, instead, an exercise in women empowerment. Frankly speaking, I believe that the first port of call in the whole women empowerment/emancipation concerns is proper orientation. Yes, with proper orientation, we really don’t have to ‘give anyone power’ (empowerment) – not even men, since every authentic human being is innately ‘power-full’. In essence, give a woman proper orientation and she can take it up from there herself. For instance, Michelle Obama’s family only had to give her ‘first-rate’ education, and she’s today doing women proud – not only by being first lady; watch her say and do her things and see for yourself.

The highest indignity being meted out to women is the fact that the world makes the average woman feel terrible about herself. And we do this in many different ways. When the ‘thighbrow’ madness came on board, we made women who didn’t have it feel terrible about their thighs. Same applied to the era of ‘bikini bridge’ and ‘collarbone club’. Most women had to undergo outrageous medical procedures and nutritional routines to attain those so called ‘ideal’ body types. You can bet that every beauty this or that leaves many a woman hating herself.

And then Autoblow pushes it to the limits with their vagina contest. Of course, they ended up shaming the vaginas of the billions of women that don’t look like the three winners. And then what would many of the rest of the pack do? Labiaplasty! You know what that means, right? Simple: a cosmetic surgical procedure to modify a woman’s genitalia. Needless to mention the many other ‘corrective/enhancement’ cosmetic surgeries done on the breast, hips, buttocks, face, lips, skin, etc. that cost a fortune on the one hand, and very risky on the other hand. In fact, let’s call them by their proper names: vaginoplasty, hoodectomy (clitoral unhooding), mammoplasty (breast enlargement/augmentation), maxtopexy (breast lift), abdominoplasty (tommy tuck), rhinoplasty (nose surgery), liposuction and liposculture, neck lift, brow lift, hip and bum enlargement, etc. You can imagine.

Now, the implications of this state of affairs is enormous, especially the fact that our women’s world is seriously gone chaotic. The rate of jealousy in that clime is far beyond the human normal, and, of course, the unintended consequence of this is the fierce competition that happen among them. Fierce, to say the least. Let me substantiate this with the comment left by the second runner-up of the vagina competition: I thought it was really funny and interesting and so I decided to give it a try, because I thought that maybe I could do better than these girls. Imagine that! And we’re pretty familiar with tales of how far some women have gone and can go to beat this competition.

Truth be told, we can’t, I mean WE CANNOT, meaningfully do women empowerment without starting off on the footing of addressing this madness. Come to think of it, how much empowerment can a woman who’s lost the last iota of her confidence to the size or shape of her breast get? There are two possible ways out of this particular situation:

it’s either we get her to accept that her breast is cool just the way it is through orientation or reorientation, or we begin her empowerment programme by sponsoring her breast lift or augmentation cosmetic surgery procedure. If we go by the latter option, procuring the cosmetic surgery, you can trust she’ll soon want a nose job.

I shall return to this matter sometime in the future, but I wish to categorically state that we’re all wasting our time on women empowerment if every woman don’t get the following points locked up in their heads:

Variety is the spice of life
Imagine that we all look alike in every conceivable respect: facial, breast, hip and bum, and even the vagina. I bet that earth would have been as boring as hell. God knew this enough to give earth a touch of variety. Why are you complaining? In this regard, the winner of the hitherto discussed competition has a killer lesson for us: I still do not believe I have a special vagina. I happen to have the best picture of my vagina. That’s it. It’s nothing less, it’s nothing more. Even the very introduction of the scientific analysis of the Autoblow vaginal beauty contest data reads: vulvas are diverse. Dimensions, colour, labia minora size, and rugosity present a broad range of variability. Does this not ring a bell?

No one is flawless
Because I’m a huge fan of Ms Adichie, I’d to download Queen Bey’s Flawless. Perhaps that’s the only thing that’s flawless – just because it goes by that name. However, we’ve all got our fair share of bodily and character flaws. Those that appear truly flawless did some behind the scene jobs. Trust me; ask them. So, what’s the point? Enjoy your flaws; be truly human!

Cultivate a strong self-will
This one got me really angry: My boyfriend made me do it. He told me about it and then I didn’t want to do it. And then we had a few drinks and then we did it…I was very uncomfortable. That came from the third runner-up of the vagina contest. Where did most women learn that they shouldn’t stand by their ‘nos’? I definitely know that relationships are run on the fuel of compromise, but there are definitely some no-go areas, and this is one for God’s sake!

Enjoy your uniqueness
We don’t just believe that we’re all and individually unique. If we did, we’d be enjoying it already. Why must one look like another for God’s sake? And if we truly understand this message of uniqueness, then the whole competition thing dies naturally.

While the wailing wailers wail and the rest of the pack throw stones at our dear President, Muhammadu Buhari, I’ve decided to look kindly upon him with compassion. At least that is what Jesus would do; I’m Christian. And I hereby invite my fellow compatriots to do same. Before I go on to explain myself, let me play the saint some bit. I actually didn’t vote him. Maybe because I lost my voting rights to the INEC job they ‘used’ us for; I was corps member at the time. Even if I were to vote, I still wouldn’t have voted him. Make no mistakes about this; I wasn’t for Jonathan either. You may be wondering already where I stood. I simply stood on that fine line between Buhari and Jonathan, and those of us on the line where I stood held that until Nigeria is ready to arise and move to the next level of governance experience, either Buhari or Jonathan could still keep the seat, conducting the business of the hell we’ve been in our 55-year-old self-rule. The point is this:

the last presidential election left us in a dilemma and our best bet was the lesser evil, and for all I care evil is evil.

Now, let me get down to the Buhari question. I’ve been in this country long enough to know that things have fallen apart. In Karl Meier’s very own words, “This House Has Fallen” (the title of his book on the Nigerian situation). And this is pretty obvious, as next to everyone is crying, if not complaining – or wailing. The much desired change came to us in its fullness. Much like the Christian Incarnation, that saw God take flesh and turn into a man – like humans in all things but sin – our out-of-proportion clamor for change saw change take pity on us and appear among us as fellow Nigerian. Now, as it were, we’ve the fullness of change; we’re beholding it and we’re feeling it. Good for us.

While the “change” mantra saturated Nigeria’s airwaves, which one of us was quick enough to notice that there was some touch of intellectual dishonesty to it already? Plagiarism, I meant. Did they acknowledge that they copied US Barack Obama? Again, was the time lag between 2007/2008 when Obama employed it to fuel his drive for the White House and 2014/2015 when Buhari copied him too long a time that we couldn’t run a comparative analysis before falling for the latter’s? Little wonder Matthew Kukah described Nigerians as suffering from collective amnesia. We just have this annoying way of forgetting; our apathy towards history is second to none on the planet. Yes, they copied the “change” mantra because it had some talismanic effect on the Americans. Painfully, between Obama’s “change” and Buhari’s “change” was a whopping 7/8 years and we really didn’t think we should consult with the Americans to know how well they’ve faired with “change.” Perhaps Obama actually meant “change” from White to Black, a sort of “change” that is none of our business down here. The bottom line is that we’re gullible enough to believe him.

Again, in our choice of Buhari we went superstitious. And we’re paying for it. Since the number of Nigerians that believed Buhari are so many that calling them irrational would be going too far on my part. If they weren’t irrational, then they must have been superstitious. This leans against the backdrop that certain outrageous promises were made to Nigerians and these promises were believed and celebrated. What was on our mind when someone promised us that he would equate the Naira to the Dollar? That’s mad. If Buhari gets 10 tenures, he wouldn’t be able to do that. Even elementary economics tell us that this is mission impossible. Many believed him. How on earth was he going to pay every unemployed Nigerian N5,000 every month? In a country like Nigeria where there are no reliable records, can anyone say how many unemployed Nigerians we have? Even at that, where will he get all that money from? We usually cow ourselves into thinking we’re rich enough for oil’s sake, but the way we run things here suggests otherwise. And to tell us we’re really fooled, he shows up to deny that promise. He always knew he couldn’t do it. So, if we sincerely believed him at the time of those promises, then we sincerely expected him to do magic. Interestingly, we can already see he’s not the “Merlin” we thought of him.

Furthermore, there was this way we thought so highly of him, especially as it bothers around the promise of corruption eradication. He told us he’s done it before, and we believed him. How and when did he do it before? This is exactly where the problem lies, as Nigerians fall into two categories in this regard:

those that were either unborn or were still too young to know a thing at the time and those that were old enough at the time but have forgotten everything. Funnily enough, our apathy for history didn’t let us consult with the pages that chronicles Buhari’s first time. Both the former and latter categories of Nigerians didn’t check; the former didn’t check to know, the latter didn’t check to remember. And I’m not here to educate us either. But get this straight from me: it wasn’t as great as he made us believe.

I can go on and on stating the many ways in which we let ourselves be deceived, but that wouldn’t save the day. My point, however, is that it is time to claim responsibility. We must take responsibility for our choice. Yes, we, as much as Buhari, made mistakes. Buhari was too desperate that he underestimated the Nigerian situation, and he came in to find that it’s a different Nigeria now and that things have toughened up. We made our mistakes too, by thinking that they could be a quick fix to the Nigerian situation. For instance, the so much expectation we heap on Buhari to deal with corruption is a difficult one, given that we’re all corrupt in one way or the other. He thinks he’s got good men to work with him, and they all shock him with the budget scandal.

As we cast stones on Buhari, I urge us to reserve some for ourselves. But if we think we don’t deserve some stoning for the choice of Buhari, then neither does he. This is a man who was desperate to occupy Aso Rock before he parts earth, tried several times, and then found an entry point when we crazily clamored for change. And given that he wanted it badly enough, he told lies, made bogus promises, and covered up his innate autocratic tendencies. Then we fell for him. We’re now all complaining because while he’s got what he’s wanted, we’re yet to get our fair share of the dividend of democracy.

And so, while we wait and wail, while we complain and criticize, Buhari needs one gift from each and every one of us. Not patience. Not trust. Not understanding. But COMPASSION. For God’s sake, that man is going through the most difficult phase of his life. Or have we also forgotten that the toughest job on the planet is being Nigeria’s president?